Archive for October, 2008

Interconnecting Peace, Environment, Safety, Health

18 October, 2008.

Everything really is connected to everything else. 

Kathy and Nina, dear friends, colleagues, teachers, and mentors to many, were married in a Quaker meeting in Toronto. As wonderful as the wedding was, as happy as we all were to bear witness to their joy, perhaps the best part was the reception. Kathy and Nina are involved in so much that is making the world a better place. Their circle of friends includes people who gave up corporate jobs to try to save the world.

One stimulating, inspiring, and hopeful conversation at the Friends Meeting House involved people from the environmental , the peace, the youth criminal justice, and the health movements, and a commercial pilot. Disparate though we were, as we discussed our visions of the society we want, we had a shared belief that relationships are at the core of each of our visions. The relationships we envision are peaceful, sustainable, safe, and healthy.

We concluded that if every relationship has those characteristics of peace, sustainability, safety and health, then the world will too.

There are steps we can and must take to achieve this vision. Those steps are possible if we have the collective will.

The environment supports and sustains us, so our actions locally and globaly must support and sustain the environment.  

To continue this sustainable cycle that keeps us alive, requires peace.

If we live in peace and have a sustainable environment that supports us, we will be healthier in mind, body, and spirit.

If we are healthier in mind, body, and spirit, we will have improved capacities to keep our communities safe.

If our communities are safe, we will not need to fear crime.

If we do not fear crime, we will have improved relationships with others.

As our relationships improve, we will have achieved our vision of the society we want.

Conflict Patterns

This week I gave a workshop on the patterns of conflict we get into that we cycle through and can’t seem to break. There were 14 smart, caring, good people in the room, and they shared a common quality: They recognized that they were having the same conflicts over and over. Their little conflicts and their monster conflicts had the same characteristics. They defaulted to the same conflict style and the same response when they felt stressed, attacked, or judged.

After the workshop, they said they had learned very useful strategies to break the cycle, change the pattern, and do conflicts more competently. They set out to practice their new conflict skills on the people who cycled through the conflicts with them.

One of the things they learned is that each of them can change the pattern on their own, whether the other person in the conflict knows, agrees, participates, or collaborates on the change. By taking responsibility for managing his or her own contribution to the conflict pattern, each of them can change the conflict to something more productive.