Conflict Competence

The best information we get under even normal conditions is imperfect. No one can know everything necessary to figure out what will happen next. We get facts and then trust the facts are accurate and are the ones we need for the problems on our plates. But all facts are subject to interpretation, so we create meaning out of the facts, and make the best decisions we can under the circumstances. Then, we hope for the best.

That uncertainty about the right solution to problems exists under normal conditions. When we feel stressed, under attack, or in conflict, our problem solving abilities tend to become even more constrained. The available information for making good decisions about problems becomes even less complete as communication usually breaks down.

There are, however, tools to improve problem-solving skills. Good problem solving, even under duress, is a learnable skill. Problem solving consists of “the processes used to obtain a best answer to an unknown” (Woods 1997). That’s a ‘best’ answer; not a ‘perfect’ answer. Best is the best outcome anyone can achieve. But, that ‘best achievable outcome’ can be the difference between stopping a potential conflict before it gets going, and getting stuck in a conflict that you can’t see how to solve. Without problem solving skills, we do only what we already know how to do, and solve problems the same way we’ve always solved them. That may not be enough to get us through the tougher problems.

What are those skills? How do you get them?

1. Recognize that problem solving is independent of the problem. The problem itself is about the content, but the solution skills are not. The skills for solving problems are process skills that can be applied to any problem, no matter what the content or topic of the problem is. The processes to solve most all problems resemble each other, even though the problems are very different.

2. In periods of calm, identify what kind of problem solving behaviour you want. Have a target in mind. Do it while you are not facing extraordinary problems because you want a stress free environment. That way you are not adding stress by trying something that takes you out of your comfort zone while you are already stressed or in conflict.

3. Find ordinary situations you regularly face, and think about different ways of doing them. You are seeking to expand beyond the way you commonly do things that aren’t working well.

4. Once you have tried this with simple problems, reflect on what you did, how it changed things, what worked or needs adjustment, and how it affected you. As part of your reflection, seek feedback from others. Ask how your problem solving skills affect others.

5. Be aware of what you are learning about how you normally react, as you learn how to learn to do things differently. That’s called double loop learning. Start simple and take on more complex problems as you learn from trying.

6. Honour what you already know, but remember it also is imperfect knowledge. Expand it with more options.

A supportive non-judgmental opinion about how you are making the transference to more competent problem solving strategies would be a big help. If that isn’t available, then you must be even more reflective, honest with yourself, and mindful of how you are progressing. Once you expand your skills in the problem solving process, the content of the problem is more manageable.

Woods, D. R. et. al. (1997). “Developing Problem Solving Skills: the McMaster Problem Solving Program.” Journal of Engineering Education April: 75-90.